Sitejabber.com has become a very lively source for consumer reviews of just about every website out there, and especially dating sites. They've got visitor input on dating sites we've never heard of, but then there's supposedly thousands of them now, too.
The reviews are not edited or censored with the exception of substituting symbols for key letters in curse words and profanity, but the words stand. So if you're contemplating joining a dating site, we recommend this place as a good place to start. Consumer affairs.com (not a government site) also has a section dedicated to online dating sites with gazillions of reviews. But brace yourself...as you can expect, most of the reviews are negative. And many are just downright hilarious:
Karl M. - POF - "Vile"- "Urgh the women on here are disgusting. My age group 28-40 have to be the pickiest deluded nasty aggressive lot on there. Profiles full of demands and not any kindness happiness or joy. Not hard to see why they're single. Horrible inside and out."
Cindy A. - POF - "liars, Scammers, marrieds" - "Liars scammers marrieds and pervs not worth the time or effort. Have been here for awhile and have not met any quality people."
Patrick D. - Match - "Scam site" - "I signed up and started to browse profiles and almost ALL of the ladies are not even in the USA. They all have the same excuse. They are from Florida, or Texas or California but are currently out of the states. Then they give you their number and tell you text only as their connection is bad for phone conversation.
The ones that do call sound like tribal elders and not even ladies. Lets not forget the numerous ladies profiles that have ,TEXT ME, and they give you a number on their profile picture. Match.com is a scam site... dont spend your money on it. Hell, go out to a club.. at least you might find a real live woman. Not some fake trying to scam you over the internet"
Noelle T. - Match - "Scam $580 on my credit card" - "I thought I as paying for a $23 a month auto renewal subscription for one year. YES, I made a mistake and should of read the details of the plan. They charged me $431 plus tax which came out to a total of $580 for a one year subscription.
After I had realized how mush was deducted from my account ( 10 minutes after the transaction took place ) I cancelled my subscription. I called Match.com and they refused to refund me the money. I cancelled my credit card. $580 GONE. Seriously, I doubt match.com would even be worth $580 for one year subscription, unless it is one prestigious dating site. I am beyond upset, and I feel like an idiot for allowing myself to be robbed by these scammers."
Samantha B. - eHarmony - "Scam, scam, scam less than a 1" - "Matches ya right this site should be removed, it just takes your money no option to cancel. This is a get rich for this company; you cant freely speak to anyone and the matches they choose are so left of my right. Match you up because you like dogs or worse because only if you say you dont drink they force you find a drinker because that makes you more attractive ya maybe if I drank a gallon of alcohol would I find this site worth it. Please dont blow your money on eharmony!!!!"
Greg B. - ChristianMingle - "terrible Christians" - "No lover of Jesus would rip people off like that. $20.00 to send a message, you scam artists. I am utterly ashamed, do not come to my church."
Duh....Really? You invite a STRANGER to your house...
for a first date after meeting online?
On Plenty of Fish, which has ALWAYS been a little fishy anyway. Smellier than the other dating sites. Not don't get me wrong, I am not lacking in empathy for this woman but this was just plain stupid. Why would you have a complete stranger come and meet you in your home, especially if you're alone there?
Rule No. 1 - Always, always meet in a public place where there are plenty of people around. Starbucks is everywhere in every town in this country and they're used to online daters using their facilities for first dates. The barristas can spot them in the parking lot. Rule No. 2 - Just my humble opinion, but make it a date just for coffee or a drink. A drink. Not a lot of drinks. Because you know in the first 30 seconds if someone is who they portrayed themselves to be on their profile. Rule No. 3 - If the person is an impostor, say so and leave. I know that's easy to write and not easy to do. No one wants to be rude and create conflict, especially with a stranger in a public place. But there's nothing wrong with saying something like this 29-year-old woman should have said to this 73-year-old man: "I am sorry, but you have misrepresented yourself. You're clearly NOT (forty, forty-five, whatever) years old so I'm leaving now. Good luck and take care." BOOM. Done. Walk out. And then: Rule No. 4 - Send us your story here on Mandy's List and we'll publish it. You can do so anonymously and you can also take the clown's photo from their dating profile and we can publish that, too. We don't name names, fake or real.
Great profile, but no photo....
October 28, 2017
What to do?
Like most people who are on internet dating sites, you have your preferences set to show only people with photos. Well, at least MOST people do! But that doesn't stop people who don't post photos from contacting you unless you set that up in your preferences, too. Some dating sites don't have that option. But occasionally you get an email from a faceless person and damn it, they wrote something so compelling and intriguing that you click on their little gray silhouette anyway, just to see who is behind such a witty, fun and original overture.
Their profile reads even BETTER than the note they sent you. So many checks in the right-hand column that you're started to get really excited. Wow, it just doesn't get any better match than this! But....why no photo? So you email them back and say "Hey, thanks, loved your email. Great profile, too, but why no photo?"
Then brace yourself for the following excuses/reasons/rationale:
- They are a high-profile person in their community and they don't want their patients/clients to know.
- They are a well-known celebrity.
- They don't know how to scan or upload a photo to the dating site.
But the real reasons they don't post a photo might be one of these:
- They are married or otherwise engaged.
- They are extremely unattractive, overweight, etc.
- They are a scammer who will "send my photo to your email address".
- Possibly an ex-con who has served time.
I've replied to faceless guys on these dating sites and most of them turned out to be in the last four categories listed above. Lesson learned!
New to online dating?
October 25, 2017
Then read this.
You've probably heard all the rumors about how the sites are full of scammers, married people, and fake profiles. And those rumors are correct! The quality of people you meet on the dating sites, if you ever actually meet them in person, is no better than meeting someone the old-fashioned way. There are differences though, and it's good to know them going in:
Humans are hard-wired to be attracted to the opposite sex through our primary senses of sight, hearing, touch, taste and smell.
Yes, a person's inherent aroma can create an intimate clash with a stranger's nose, and it's so subtle the offended nose can be completely confused about why it is not attracted to the person standing right in front of it! The modern human has been around for 200,000 years and now, in the last 20 years we're asked to use a computer for mate selection? A system that denies the use of our basic senses. This is why online dating is so incredibly disappointing and difficult.
Yes, you've got some photos of your potential love-fest to see, photos that were carefully (or carelessly) posted by the worst person of all to be selecting them: the person in them! And physical demeanor cannot be determined by looking at a few photos, but physical demeanor is a hugely important and a significant element of the thing we call chemistry.
So what to do? Polish up that video camera in your computer or cell phone and start demanding some Facetime or a video exchange. There's tons of information on the internet about how to look and be your best when creating your own video.
As for the other problems that come with meeting someone new online? Hire Mandy's Date Detective to scope them out and save yourself time, money and heartache!